Genesis dia Zythum
by Torotyrannus15
Summary: On a delivery to a lifeless chemical planet, Bender accidently drops his last beer into an unknown substance. Little does he know, the new compound formed from the beer mixing with the new chemical will trigger a course of events that causes Bender to play God for the second time.
1. Chapter 1: Genisis dia Zythum

**This is a weird one I came up with. Then again, tons of insane things happen on this show. Also, I'll say that this fic is loosely based on an episode of Sanjay and Craig. I have no rights to either shows.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

It was just another regular day at Planet Express. Delivery boy Fry and alchoholic robot Bender were relaxing in the lounge watching 'The Scary Door' in HD.

_"You're driving alone down an old, forgotten street in the pouring rain. Suddenly, you're car runs out gas, and you come up to a mysterious-looking motel on the side of the road. You enter and ask for a room, and the manager who has 18 fingers gives you a room key. Little do you realize that this key alone is able to unlock the Scary Door." The narrator said._

_An image showed of a man in a bar. the narrator spoke,_

_"This is Walter Oopl, a middle-aged man who works at the local plastic sex doll foundry. His wife has recently left him when she found out that she was pregnant with over 1000 assorted insect larvae." _

_"Gimme another beer, Tom." Walter said as he showed signs of being drunk. The fellow named Tom placed another bottle of beer in front of Walter. Walter was about to drink the beer, when he then said,_

_"Hey, there's something moving in this beer." Seconds after he said that, two dripping hands burst out of the bottle and wrapped around Walter's throat and strangled him until he collapsed on the floor, dead. The narrator came up again._

_"At that moment, Mr. Walter Oopl learned a very important lesson:" the camera zoomed in on the beer bottle label, which read, 'Classic strangle-U-2-death Budweiser alcohol.' _

_"Always check what kind of beer you are drinking before it kills you. It could have come from the Scary Door."_

The episode ended.

"Man, this show gets creepier with every episode." Bender said as he smoked a cigar.

"I'm not so sure, Bender." Fry said. "A lot of the newer episodes aren't making any sense to me."

"Oh please. The writers for this show are obviously geniuses in the gothic arts." Bender pointed out.

"Yeah, sure." Fry said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. At that moment, Leela and the Professer walked in.

"Good news, everyone!" The professer said his trademark saying. "You three will be going to the planet Oxalicus 13, a desolote, lifeless chemical planet."

"Wait, if the planet has no life, why are we delivering anything to there?" Leela questioned.

"Actually, you are going there to dump all of my Iridium-based experimental machinery into the acidic pools on the planet's surface. President Nixon's head just passed a law that all Iridium is to be banned from local homes and buisnesses at once, and since I don't have a way of melting them down on earth, you will dispose of them in the super-disolvent acid pools of Oxalicus 13 at once!" The Professer explained. The crew decided not to argue and loaded the Professer's Iridium machinery into the ship, and there was quite a lot of it.

"Do you seriously have THIS much Iridium-based junk in your lab?" Bender said with disdain as he shoved a large laser drill cotraption into the hold.

"Well, it's not all Iridium." Farnseworth responded. "Roughly 12 of them have little more than a single Iridium atom in them." Bender grumbled.

When all the machines were loaded into the ship, Leela pressed buttons and the ship launched into the sky and soon left the atmosphere far behind. Bender took this time to drink several bottles of beer from his chest compartment. After an hour or so, the ship approached Oxalicus 13, possibly the most acidic and chemical-ridden planetoid out there. The ship descended through the planet's atmosphere, which was a perfect mix of every gas element ever. The ship landed on the metal and metalloid chemical-compound surface and Fry, Leela, and Bender walked out. Leela and Fry were wearing protective suits to protect them from the deadly atmospheric conditions, while Bender, being a lifeless machine, was not.

"Okay you two, look for a large acid pool that we can dump all the machinery into." Leela said. "Now, it'll have to be at least 10 yards wide and about 16 feet deep, so it may be hard to fin-"

"Here's a good one." Bender interrupted Leela when he found an acid pool that met those exact qualities.

"Um, okay." Leela said akwardly. The three of them quickly went to work, dragging a hunk of Iridium machinery out of the ship and dumping it into the pool of acidic compounds, causing the hard metal to melt and bubble away upon contact. After 1 hour, they were just about finished. As Leela and Fry heaved the last doomsday device into the dissolving fluid mixture, Bender took out his last beer and began drinking next to an odd-looking pinkish-purple puddle of unknown chemicals. The robot then had an idea.

"Hey, guys! Look at this!" Fry and Leela came over to see what Bender was up to. "Hey Puddle! Bite my shiny metal ass!" Bender said as he stuck his metal posterior into the liquid, earning a chuckle from the two organics. Suddenly, Bender felt a horrific stinging/burning sensation on his metallic prostate. He looked behind him to see that is ass was being dissolved into liquid! Bender screamed and jumped away from the puddle, dropping his beer. Bender dragged his ass on the ground like a dog with anal infection, and eventually his ass stopped boiling away. However, there was now a gaping jagged hole in his rear.

"Holy crap! Bender, are you okay?" Fry asked his friend.

"I'm OK, but my ass isn't." Bender groaned as he looked down at his once glorious posterior. "Oh well. I'll just drink until I feel better." Bender then realized that he had dropped his beer into the puddle during the commotion.

"Aw, son of a-! That was my last beer!" Bender angrily yelled as he fished his alchohol out of the puddle. However, some of the beer had leaked into the ooze, and some of the ooze had found its way into the bottle, which had not dissolved.

"Hmm. It seems that the chemicals in that puddle are able to dissolve metal, but cannot dissolve glass. Weird." Leela said.

"Just leave that thing, Bender." Fry said. "You can always steal more."

"No way, Orange Joe!" Bender shot at the delivery boy. "There's no way I'm ever giving up while there's still beer in the bottle. Now, when we get home, I'm gonna make the Professor clean this thing so I can drink the rest of the booze in it. Understood?" Fry nodded meekly. "Good. Now let's go already!" The three quickly went into the ship and took off for earth. As Bender sat impatiently, he failed to notice that his beer/mystery chemical compound had begun to bubble and froth. It was changing.

* * *

Back at Planet Express HQ, the Professer was busy tending to his old doomsday devices in his lab. A moment later, Bender rushed in, followed by the much less hurried Leela and Fry.

"Professer! Thank god we found you in time!" Bender said, a bit over-dramatically. "I desperatly need your help!"

"What? What is it?!" Farnseworth said as he was both surprised and interrupted.

"It's my beer! It fell into some weird chemical and now it's all contaminated." Bender said as he took out the contaminated bottle. The Professor was not at all convinced that it was important.

"So what? It's just beer! You can just steal some more." Farnseworth said grumpily.

"That's what I told him." Fry said.

"Shut up , Fry." Bender told off the human. "Professer, I beg you with all my heart, please, please save my beer! I've never had my heart more dead set on anything ever before! If I can't drink this one beer, I'll never be able to work up the courage to drink ever again! Please do this for me!"

"FINE! I'll decontaminize your damn for the love of Zombie Jesus! Just stop pestering me!" The Professer screamed. Bender gave himself an imaginary high-five for pulling that off.

"What a baby." Leela said dejectidly of Bender. Reluctantly, the Professer took Bender's beer and placed it on a molecular scanner that he had lying around.

"I'll just perform a quick molecular scan before we get started." Farnseworth said as he pulled a lever on the scanner. A beam of white light scanned over the bottle and its contents several times before the machine made a dinging noise.

"Scan's done." Said the Professer as the machine printed out the results of the scan on paper. As the Professor read, a shocked expression appeared all over his wrinkly face.

"Good god!" He exclaimed.

"What's it say, Professer?" Leela asked.

"Well, according to this scan, which in no way could possibly be mistaken, the mysterious chemical, combined with Bender's Botweiser beer, created a new compound of chemicals atomically identical to those of the Primordial Soup!" Farnseworth exclaimed. Everyone gasped, but their looks of surprise were replaced by looks of confusion.

"Wait, what's this about immortal goop?" Fry asked.

"Not immortal goop, Primordial Soup!" Farnseworth shouted. Still, nobody else understood. The Professor facepalmed himself, and then said, "Allow me to explain: paleobiologists have an evolutionary theory known as the Primordial Soup Theory. The Primordial Soup Theory explains that life first originated within pools of random and radical chemical compounds called Primordial Soup. From this soup came the first single-cellular life, or Prokaryotes. That clear things up for ya?" Everyone seemed to understand now.

"Good." Said the Professer.

"Wait a second," Bender said. "So you're saying that my beer is now the creator of living cells?!"

"See for yourself." Farnseworth said as he poured the contents of the bottle into a beaker and put a microscope up to it. Bender looked through the microscope and saw something incredible; within the violetish-pink liquid, Bender saw hundreds of thousands of tiny, shapeless, wiggly masses that were all moving about through the soup. They all looked pretty much the same, and flashed different colors all over.

"Woah." Bender said. At that moment, one of the wiggly things stopped moving and seemed to stare up at Bender. It flashed blue for a spilt second, and then dashed around, appearing to alert the others by flashing pink. The other wiggly things all stopped what they were doing and faced Bender. They all flashed blue and appeared to bow to Bender.

"Holy god." Bender said in stupor as looked back up. He turned to the Professer. "Is this, like, really happening?!" He said. Fanseworth nodded.

"Yes, Bender, it is. You have created life where it would have never existed if you hadn't dropped your beer into those chemicals. Basically, you are playing god, Bender." He said.

"Woah." Fry and Leela said in unison. Bender picked up the beaker and held it to his face. With his robot vision, he could just make out the wiggly things swimming around what used to be his beer.

"I created life." Bender said to himself. "I AM playing god...again."

* * *

**WOAH! Betcha' didn't see something like THIs coming! I rule! This fic'll be long or short, I don't noe. Stay tuned for updates, and by the way, the title means, "Origins from beer". **


	2. Chapter 2: Prosperitas et Evolutio

**And now for chapter 2. Weird how beer mixed with obscure chemicals can create life, huh? Bender is now playing god...again.**

* * *

Bender was in his and Fry's apartment late at night. Fry was asleep, but Bender stayed up watch his creation. He stared at the glass jar that held the fragile life that he, Bender, had unwittingly set in motion by combining purple chemicals with regular old beer. It simply made no sense. But then again, when it comes to science, very, VERY few things tend to make sense. Bender could still see the wiggly things swimming through the violet beer blend if he extended his eye bulbs foreward as he often did when observing fembots from very closeby. There were literally hundreds of them. With his robotic super-speed, he had counted at least 874 of them in less than 5 seconds, and there seemed to be more whenever he looked. The wiggly thing that had first seen Bender was still floating there, staring up at him. These wiggly things, or "Protopaleoprokaryotes", as the Professor called them, obviously viewed the bending unit as their god, just like the Shrimpkins had all those years ago.

Bender sighed. He remembered what happened the last time he had played god. All of his subjects were obliterated. He stared at the PPPs again. He thought, _"Maybe this was supposed to happen. Maybe these wiggly things were meant to give me a second chance at playing god, and doing it the_ _right way."_ Bender considered this idea for several moments.

"Nah. These things just came up random out of the blue." Bender said in his normal attitude. "Still, it's pretty cool that I created a whole world of living creatures with my beer." Bender continued to stare at the jar, glancing at the digital clock on the wall every few minutes. Last time he checked it was 3:50 AM. Bender looked at the clock again; it was now 4:12. Bender went back to his jar. The Protopaleoprokaryotes gave off a bright glow at night. Bender kept watching them. Suddenly, one of them began to stretch. Bender gasped as the Protopaleoprokaryote split into two. Soon, more of them followed its example, splitting into two halves. Within seconds, the entire population of the jar had doubled.

"Wow." Bender said to himself. "Living creatures are actually pretty cool!" Bender then noticed that the new Protopaleoprokaryotes had some sort of tiny, purpleish mass forming in their centers, and then, their membranes became slightly thicker, and the Protopaleoprokaryotes grew just a bit larger than their origional counterpart.

"Oh..my...GOD!" Bender yelled. "They're evolving!"

* * *

Fry had been sleeping soundly before he heard Bender scream. He woke up with a start as the aforementioned robot burst through his door.

"Fry! Fry!" Bender hysterically yelled.

"What?! What is it, Bender?" Fry shouted back, angrily awoken.

"It's the things in my jar! They evolved!" Bender shouted at the delivery boy.

"What?" Fry said again.

"Just look!" Said Bender as he shoved the jar into Fry's face. However, since Fry did not have the extensive vision of a robot, he could not see anything in the jar other than the chemical soup that was in their.

"Uh, I don't see anything." Fry said.

"Goddamnit! C'mon!" Bender said angrily as he grabbed Fry's arm and dragged him out of the apartment.

"Wait! Where are we going?" Said Fry. Bender responded,

"We're going to the Professor's lab so you can see what happenend to my cell-thingys."

* * *

The Professor was sound asleep in his lab, sitting in front of his smell-o-scope. As he snored away, he was not awoken by the sound of the door to his lab opening, nor the sound of a robot and a human walk through. Bender set his jar of life down on a lab table and pulled up one of the most powerful microscopes the Professor had. He looked though it himself to test it and then told Fry to do the same.

"Alright, alright. I'll look at your dumb cell-things." Fry said as he stared at them through the lens. What he saw was a bit shocking.

"Holy crap!" Fry exclaimed. "Bender, your things really did evolve!"

"And you doubted the word of me, the amazing Bender, for what reason now?" Bender probed.

"And WHAT are you two doing in MY lab at THIS hour?" A familiar voice suddenly said. Fry and Bender turned around swiftly to see a VERY grumpy-looking Professor Farnseworth glaring at them through his 3-inch-thick glasses.

"Um..we're here..to..uh..wish you a happy birthday?" Bender choked out weakly. Surprisingly, the Professor baught it.

"Really? Oh thank goodness! I though everybody forgot! It's nice to know that there are some people out there who care." He said. However, Bender and Fry had now left.

* * *

The next day, everyone showed up for work at Planet Express, including Bender, who had brought along his jar.

"Spleesh, Bender. How long are you going to carry around that jar of cells?" Amy asked the machine.

"As long as I damn want to!" Bender retorted as he held the jar.

"Good news, everyone!" The Professor said as he came through the door to the conference room. "We're making a delivery to the planet Carbonoit, a planet made out of Carbon, and then be making a second delivery to the neighboring planet Nitrogenic, a gas planet made purly of Nitrogen gas." The descriptions of those certain planets gave Bender an idea.

"Hey, Carbon and Nitrogen are good for living things, right?" Bender asked the Professor.

"Well yes, but why in Satan's glorious name would you care?"

"Um, no reason. Just thinkin' out loud here." Bender said casually.

"Oh, I get it. You want to make sure your cells are healthy, don't you Bender?" Amy said.

"No! Of- of course not! Shut up!" Bender hastily retorted. "Let's go already!" With that, Leela, Bender, and Fry went up into the ship(with Bender bringing his cell jar of course).

Several lightyears later, the ship plunged into the atmosphere of Carbonoit. The planet's surface was made entirly of solid Carbon right down to the core, and their were numerous oceans and lakes of liquid Carbon, and the atmosphere was completely made of Carbon gas, which living things could not breathe.

"Looks like we're here." Leela said through her oxygen suit as Fry and Bender unloaded a huge block of diamond-carbon from the ship.

"Sheesh! Why does a planet of Carbon need such a huge diamond?" Fry said as he attempted to push the extremely heavy gem.

"Because," An unfamiliar voice said. "Diamonds are sacred to our people." The 3 turned to face a towering rock creature, appearing to be made completely out of coal. The creature picked up the huge diamond with ease and said,

"Thank you for your generous offering. Good day" Before stomping away towards the horizon. The crew stared for a while, until Leela said,

"Well, I guess that's it. Let's go."

"Hold on." Bender said. "There's something I wanna do first." Without waiting for an answer, Bender went and took out some tweasers from his chest compartment and picked a tiny drop of solid carbon from the planet surface, unscrewed the lid of his life jar, and promptly dropped the bit of carbon into it. Bender watched as the Proto-prokaryotes gathered around the bit of carbon-which to them was quite large- and began to absorb peices of it into their cell bodies.

"Yeah, you guys like that, don't you?" Bender said cutely to his little cells. Leela and Fry chuckled to themselves at this sight.

"Alright, let's cheese it!" Bender said as he climbed back into the ship. As Leela piloted the space vessel towards the closeby planet Nitrogenic, Bender watched with content as his little cells prospered, eating up the carbon and deviding.

Soon, the ship floated into the nitogen atmosphere of the the gas planet. Bender, surprisingly, volunteered to go out and make the delivery himself. As Bender floated among the nitrogen clouds hanging by a tether to the ship and carrying a box of red pepper, he casually took his cell jar out of his chest and opened it, letting a balloonful of nitrogen gas inside before he screwed it shut again. He was then met by two living nitrogen clouds that looked like humans, sort of, who said nothing and took the red pepper and signed for it with drops of liquid nitrogen. The clouds then disipated, and Bender was pulled back into the ship, letting some extra nitrogen into his jar, which the proto-cells were thankful for.

* * *

Back on Earth, Bender showed the newly evolved prokaryotes to the Professor.

"Incredible!" Farnseworth exclaimed. "Bender, it seems that your prokaryotes are evolving at a supernaturally excellerated rate! They've already evolved neclei in less than a day!"

"Oh, is that what those little spots inside them are?" Bender asked.

"Yes, and they've developed rhibosomes as well! And cell membranes! This unbelievable! Bender you must let the scientific community know of these incredible cells!" The Professor exclaimed.

"No, not yet. I think I'll hang on to 'em for a while longer. Just to be safe." Bender said as he took the jar and placed it back inside his chest compartment. "Plus, I think they like me."

"Why shouldn't they?" Farnseworth said. "After all, it was you, and you alone, who created the environmental conditions necessary for them to exist."

"Yup. Me, the magnificent Bender." Bender said as he stolled out of the lab.

* * *

"...And I'll name you, Bender jr." Bender was back at his apartment with Fry. The robot had just finished naming each and every cell in his jar; they were all named either Bender jr. or Bender II.

Bender switched on the TV and took out a bottle of beer from his chest. As he began to drink, Bender had a thought. He tipped his beer bottle over the open cell jar and poured a few teaspoons of it into the liquid. Bender watched as the life juice began to change color. Within moments it had changed from violet to dark blue, and Bender saw that his cells were evolving again. They expanded, grew larger, more powerful nuclei, and even developed small green orbs inside them that moved around. Bender had no idea what all this was, so he called the Professor on his eyePhone.

"Hey, Professor? What does it mean when a cell develops little green orbs that move inside it?" Bender asked the image of Farnseworth.

"Oh, that? It simply means that the cell is creating food storage for itself, so that it can feed itself later if no food is available." The old man answered.

"Cool." Bender said before hanging up. "Looks like my little cells are growing tough." Bender sipped more of his beer, and then thought of something as he looked at his little cells. Bender knew that if he was going to play god with these things, he would need to know everything about cells. So, he took the remote, switched channels from

"All My Circuits", to a documentary about the nature of cells and single-celled organisms, locked his eye bulbs on the screen, and set his central processor to 'learn' .

* * *

**End of ch. 2. I hope you like**

**I'll just say that, though I did take biology, and was pretty good at it, I may not get some of this cell stuff 100% right. But they are alien cells that originated from alcohol. They can evolve however I want, and they will.**

**Stay tuned for future updates! **


End file.
